Post WMS2 Disciplines
The Art of Community Living
Almost everything we are taught in our culture is rooted in the myth “I can do it myself”…from tying your shoes, to riding your bike, to taking exams on the university without, well, let’s call it “input from others”. The Individual is central.
Take the following quiz to find out how “independent” you are: Use the scale in the middle of the chart to rate your Independence. Choose "1" if Column A describes you best. Choose "5" if Column B fits you best. Or Choose 2, 3 or 4 if you're stuck in the middle.
| A | B | |
When I marry I will choose my own mate although I value my family’s advice--it is my life. | 1……2……3……4……5. | My parents will choose my partner as they consider the needs of the family._____ |
| My parents encouraged me to “do it myself”: to learn to play by myself, tie my own shoes and sleep in my own little bed | 1……2……3……4……5. | As a child I was never left alone—not even to sleep alone at night |
| I rarely know who owns the store where I shop | 1……2……3……4……5. | When I purchase something I only go to a friend’s store where we chat about family and friends before I do my business |
| My parents plan to spend the last years of their life in a retirement center or assisted living home if necessary | 1……2……3……4……5. | It is my duty to care for my elderly parents in my home—I would not consider anything else. |
| I find it important to let my yes’s mean yes and my no’s mean no. People should be sincere and honest | 1……2……3……4……5. | It would be considered very rude if I said “no” to someone—its better to say yes or find a polite way to avoid the request |
| Total divided by 5 | ||
Do you realize that 75% of the world has a community mentality (a score of 4 or 5 on the quiz): where you don’t have your own bedroom, or even bed, until you are a teenager; your parents choose your marriage partner for you, on the basis of what is good for the family; and you don’t get to choose your own profession or what you will study in college. The needs and wishes of the community are more important than the preferences of the individual.
While both Individualist and Group cultures have their evil sides, we can learn from each other. The next time you are deciding whether or not to go to Chi Alpha or small group or a weekend retreat, instead of asking “what will this do for me? Do I have time?”, ask yourself, what will my presence do to help the others? If I don’t prepare for the Bible Study, am I robbing others of what God wants to do through me?
When several of your friends are making decisions about what to do or where to go, try to feel the desire of the others, and yield to their wishes.
If you want to incarnate the love of Christ, whether in the 25% of the world that values Independence or the 75% of the world that values community, learn the art of community living. Strike a balance of interdepence. Living for the sake of the others will grow us in Christlike interdependence.